Having lived in Isaan , the dowry seekers are almost always those girls/families that already have a bad history and baggage to go with them. If they are asking for money it is because money is more important to the family than you, the future husband, of the future benefits you can provide to their daughter. The mother's and father's usually feel getting money for themselves is more important than their daughters future welfare.
Most farang's cannot accept this fact or believe it to be true but it usually is.
If the family is most sincere they will recognize the value of a "good" future husband and not ask for anything.
That was the case in my situation.
My wife's father didn't ask me for anything except if I could send his daughter to school which I did and she graduated from a University in Thailand.
After a few years in Thailand, it was on to the USA where after 1+ years in a US College studying ESL, my wife learned professional English which allowed her to get enrolled in Nursing, where she graduated and is now a RN (registered nurse) in the USA earning $75,000 a year. She is still in her 20's.
There are a few in Issan that have the same drive and determination to make something of themselves, and in this case it proves that even poor from Issan does not mean they do not have intellectual capacity to learn if they really want to.
In the beginning it was never really about money for her. It was more about she really did not want to end up in Isaan the same as everyone else and she had her goals and dreams, as most young ladies do, and wanted a realistic chance to make it happen.
Even today, with my wife earning a super income in the USA, our combined income is simply something she never dreamed possible. She saves all her money like a squirrel saving nuts for winter and she has such immense pride she is able to do this.
Every week she will tell my mother, she is luckiest person on earth to be married to me.
She honestly could have any man she wanted and specially with her solid income, however there is such a gratitude and love of being "rescued" that to her, I am the only one in the world that matters to her.
Each and every relationship is different as every farang is different in their approach to women and marriage in general.
There is no "one size fits all" when referring to Thai relationships and what works for others might not work for you.
Having the ability to live in Thailand and actually learn the pitfalls of what can happen and of all the unscrupulous women worshiping money helps in the long run to understand a good woman from a woman worshiping money.
Often the red flags are already up but those less experienced may never see or even understand.
I would guess if you were in love with a Thai woman that her family asked for a dowry and you didn't want to or couldn't pay it and the relationship broke off, that should be enough evidence that it was never about "you" and all about your money.
I believe if a Thai girl is really in love with you, nothing, not family or even money will stand in her way.
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eff_ewe wrote:I too encourage Miss Pampan to investigate how "fair" foreign men are treated by Thailand when they marry a Thai lady. You will then understand what unfair really is.
Totally, Agreed with you.
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